You should never make fun of your mother

Last night as I deposited my weary frame onto my bed, I was clobbered (is that a word?) by children.  They had apparently decided that it was make fun of mother night. 

I was informed that I smell bad.  Okay, I know my hair was dirty and it really did need a shampoo that day. In my defense, I was short on time.  I admit I knew it was a bit smokey smelling from being on the patio around the fire pit the day before.  I had tried to cover the smell  freshen it up a bit with some body spray from Bath & Body after I showered.  At least I showered.  Come on!  I do have to remind some people in this house to bathe.  They said my hair smelled like a public restroom.  A mix between smoke, perfume, and f**ts.  SIGH................

They didn't stop there with the devastation to my self-esteem.  No, they got down and dirty.  They cut me deep.  They said I have two chins.  And they named the second one.  Can you believe the nerve of these kids?  Sylvia, that is what they call it - my second chin.  At this point in the conversation, I am quite sure that these children who look familiar are not really mine.  My children wouldn't make fun of their dear hardworking mother.

Yeah, right!

About 2:30 a.m. this morning, the eldest of the brood was up vomiting and pitifully asking for his dear mother.  And do you know what I did?  I sent Sylvia to help him.


Just joking.  Of course I took good care of my baby.  But I couldn't help thinking that it might be a bit of  retribution for making fun of dear mother. 

Oh, I am just kidding about that, too.

Last week I was wearing one of  hubby's big hooded sweatshirts.  As much as I hate to admit it, his clothes feel better than mine.  I am long waisted and have a hard time with my shirt tails being too short.  I was lamenting this fact when my oldest daughter says that I need to buy EBR jeans. 

I naively grabbed the hook.  "What are EBR jeans," I ask.  "Extra butt room" says the girl genius. 

So I guess I need to shop for some EBR jeans.  At least I won't be lonely.  I will have Sylvia to keep me company.
 
I am off now to check on my sick one.  Hardworking mothers are good at caregiving and being the brunt of jokes.  Hug your family tonight and have some fun!